Broken Sky
by Hotch Fan
Summary: Spoilers from 5x09 "100." Watching Aaron sleep, as he had done so many nights before, he couldn't help remembering that night, three months after Haley's death, when everything had gone to hell. Hotch/Rossi Mild slash.


**My new and first slash, or slight slash story****! I love Hotch Rossi, but I had not have the confidence to write slash between them until now. This is pretty angst, but I couldn't take the idea out of my head until I wrote it. I have somemore happy ideas about these two, so let me know if you'd like see them . **Anyway**** any comment or criticism will be appreciated.** **

**Also I owe a huge **(Really huge)** thanks, to **_**Nebula2 **_**for the beta.**

**I don't owe Criminal Minds or any of his characters.**

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><p><strong>OoOoO<br>**

**Title:**** Broken Sky.**

_**"If we deny love that is given to us, if we refuse to give love because we fear pain or loss, then our lives will be empty, our loss greater." - Anonymous.**__**  
><strong>_

Dave rubbed his eyes tiredly, closing the book he had been reading. He and the rest of the team were on the jet, flying back home from Nashville, Tennessee after a case. It had been short but hard, as they had been working almost nonstop for three days and everyone was exhausted.

He moved slightly in his seat, looking around at his teammates.

Morgan and Reid were sitting together, both sound asleep . Morgan was leaning his head on Reis's shoulder. The picture was a little sweet but strange, because usually it was opposite with Reid leaning his head in Morgan's shoulder.

JJ and Prentiss were sitting opposite each other. JJ was lying on the seats apparently asleep, covered with a blanket, while Prentiss sat leaning her head on the back of the seat, also sleep.

Returning his gaze in front of him, he looked at Hotch. The Unit Chief was also asleep; he was lying down with his head leaning on his hand. His face was relaxed, not totally but enough.

Looking at the slight rise and fall on Hotch's chest, Dave had to suppress the urge to run his fingers over the dark hair of the other man, or just bend over and kiss him on the forehead.

A year or so after Hotch's divorce they had started a relationship. Nothing complex, just comforting and simple. They would go out to dinner or for a drink and sometimes they would go to Hotch's apartment or Dave's house and spend some quiet time together. Everything worked just fine, at least until The Reaper.

After Foyet's attack, and Jack and Haley and going into witness protection, Aaron had distanced himself from him, and Dave had been just fine with that. They still talked and everything, so he was trying to be understanding , knowing that Aaron needed space after what had happened, but then Foyet attacked again killing Haley, and Aaron distanced himself totally.

He hadn't said anything, hoping that Aaron would come around, he just had to give him time, because he had just lost someone who had been big part of his life, and his son had lost her mother. And well, Aaron still loved Haley. Not in the same way as before, but he still loved her.

Dave knew things couldn't keep going in the same way, but was willing to accept the changes.

Right now, watching Aaron sleep, as he had done so many nights before, he could not help remembering that night, three months after Haley's death, when he couldn't bear things anymore, and everything had gone to hell.

**/***/**

_They had just returned from their latest case. It had been quickly and what might be considered good in this work, they caught the unsub and saved the woman he had kidnapped._

_It was pretty late when they arrived to the BAU and knowing that Aaron wouldn't go to Jessica's tom pick up Jack at this time, Dave went to Aaron's office and after some persuasion and stubbornness on Dave's part, the younger agent had given up and agreed to go with him._

_As they drove into the quiet night, each one in his car, Dave could not help feeling a bit uncertain and anxious about what was about to happen._

_They went straight to Aaron's apartment without saying anything._

_Once inside, Dave took a quick glance around, feeling slightly relieved not seeing any significant change, well, just one. The drinks cabinet wasn't where it was before, but he assumed it was something normal having a little boy at home now._  
><em>He took a seat on the couch and looked as Aaron returned from the kitchen with two glasses with amber liquid in them, so he assumed it was Scotch. Aaron passed him one of the glasses and sat down without saying anything.<em>

_Taking a sip from his glass, Dave looked at Aaron, really looking at him, trying to judge the state in which the other man was in to decide whether he should bring up the issue that both knew they had to discuss or wait for Aaron to do it._

_He looked tired; with the ever present circles under his eyes a little darker, jaw tight and his free hand curled into a fist. His whole body was tense, his shoulders tight and rigid posture. He was obviously uncomfortable._

_Dave took a deep breath, and was about to speak when he hear Aaron doing so, his voice barely above a whisper._

_"I can't do this," Aaron said without looking at him._

_Dave frowned. "What do you mean?"_

_Dave didn't say anything else. He just sat there, surprised and hurt looking at Aaron, although looking back, he knew he shouldn't _have been_ ._

_"Why?" He finally asked._

_"Because things have changed. It's not just me anymore and Jack is my first and only priority. I _have to _make sure I spend each second I'm not working with him and don't have time for anything else." Aaron said, his eyes pleading the other agent to understand._

_Dave just shook his head. "Jack has always been your first priority and I'm more than okay with that, I understand, he's your son and of course things have to change, it doesn't matter to me, I just want to be there for you. For you and Jack."_

_Aaron took a deep breath, pinchingthe bridge of his nose, but _didn't_ say anything for a moment._

_"This can't be. I can't be in a relationship after..." Aaron swallowed hard "I can't have a relationship, let alone with a man. How could I even explain something like that to Jack? How could I do that after what happened? What if he sees... something?"_

_"Aaron, I'm not with you just to have a good fuck, you should know that by now. I'm 54 fucking years old, the sex is not the most important thing to me anymore. You don't want Jack to know about this now? That is fine with me, I will not enter the door and start to kiss you and push you against the wall. "Dave said, trying to reason with the man in front of him._

_Aaron shook his head, he opened his mouth to say something more, another excuse, Dave was pretty sure and he couldn't take it anymore._

_"This is not about us, it is? Hell, this is not even about Jack. This is about you wanting to be miserable!"_

_"Dave..." Aaron started warning only to be cut off by Dave._

_"This is about Haley isn't it?" Dave saw Aaron blink at the name of his ex-wife, but that was the only reaction. "No, let me make it clearer. This is about your misplaced guilt."_

_Aaron stood up quickly and took a few steps away, crossing his arms over his chest, letting Dave know that he was right._

_"You still feel that Haley's death is your fault, so you think you don't deserve having anything good in your life, you have to be alone and miserable because you think that's what you deserve," Dave _shouted angrily_ ._

_He saw Aaron take a _shaky_ breath, trying to get his emotions under control._

_"I'd like you to go now," Aaron said._

_Without saying anything, Dave walked over to where Aaron was and put his hands on Aaron's shoulders, looking into his eyes._

_"Please don't do this. Don't do _this to us_ ," Dave begged, watching Aaron's watery eyes._

_"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I can't," Aaron whispered, moving away from Dave slowly._

_With one last look at Dave, Aaron disappeared into the hallway, leaving Dave behind watching him._

_"Damn!" Dave swore, rubbing a hand over his face._

_Somehow he _didn't_ think that going after Aaron would be the best idea, although he wanted to, he had to let things settle down a bit._

_Walking toward the living room, he drank what was left in his glass and Aaron's before leaving the apartment._

_He came into his car and drove to his usual bar, ready to get drunk._

/***/

It had been two months since that night and there had been not a day that he didn't think about it. They had kept a good working relationship and their friendship was still there, not as deep as before, but they were still friends.

Looking at Aaron again, Dave felt a surge of sadness hit him, because it was unfair. It was unfair that though they liked each other, hell, they loved each other, they couldn't be together because of Aaron's misplaced guilt.

Several minutes later, his attention was brought back to the man in front of him by the sound of a faint whisper coming from his mouth. He looked at Aaron, there was a fine sheen of sweat on his face and his brow was slightly furrowed. It was obvious he was having a nightmare.

He looked around the jet to the team, to make sure they were still sleeping before going to Aaron's side. Holding his breath, he approached him, putting a hand on his arm and rubbing gently. He couldn't help it then. He laid a hand on Aaron's forehead, smoothing the slightly damp hair out of his face.

"Shhh," he whispered. "It's okay."

It takes a bit, but glancing at Aaron, he saw that the frown on his face had disappeared, and his breathing deepened. He gave a little squeeze to Aaron's arm, before returning to his seat, wishing he was still allowed to confront Aaron as before.

**"Real loss only occurs when you lose something that you love more than yourself." - Anonymous.**

**OoOoO**

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><p><strong><strong>... So,<strong>** what do you think? Like it? Hate it? Let me know! I was tempted to have Rossi kissing Hotch's forehead at the end but it seemed to me a little out of character :P **  
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**A/N:Thanks to all who read it.**** I hope you all have enjoyed****, and as always feedback appreciated. Thank you.**


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